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Stop Caretaking the Borderline Or Narcissist

Stop Caretaking the Borderline Or Narcissist
  • Author : Margalis Fjelstad
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2013
  • Total pages :219
  • ISBN : 144222018X
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Summary : People with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorders are master manipulators; Caretakers fall for them every time. This book helps Caretakers break the cycle and puts them on a new path of personal freedom, discovery, and self-awareness, through the use of real stories and practical suggestions from a seasoned therapist.

Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist

Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist
  • Author : Margalis Fjelstad
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2013-02-07
  • Total pages :190
  • ISBN : 1442220198
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Summary : People with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorders have a serious mental illness that primarily affects their intimate, personal, and family relationships. Often they appear to be normally functioning at work and in public interactions, and Narcissists may even be highly effective, in the short term, in some work or social situations. However, in intimate relationships, they can be emotional, aggressive, demeaning, illogical, paranoid, accusing, and controlling—in the extreme. Their ability to function normally or pleasantly can suddenly change in an instant, like flipping a switch. These negative behaviors don’t happen once in a while, they happen almost continuously in their intimate relationships and most often, and especially with their Caretaker family member. Here, Margalis Fjelstad describes how people get into a Caretaker role with a Borderline or Narcissist, and how they can get out. Caretakers give up their sense of self to become who and what the Borderline or Narcissist needs them to be. This compromises the Caretaker’s self-esteem, distorts their thinking processes, and locks them into a Victim-Persecutor-Rescuer pattern with the Borderline or Narcissist. The book looks at the underlying rules and expectations in these relationships and shows Caretaker’s how to move themselves out of these rigid interactions and into a healthier, more productive, and positive lifestyle—with or without the Borderline/Narcissistic partner or family member. It describes how to get out of destructive interactions with the Borderline or Narcissist and how to take new, more effective actions to focus on personal wants, needs, and life goals while allowing the Borderline or Narcissist to take care of themselves. It presents a realistic, yet compassionate, attitude toward the self-destructive nature of these relationships, and gives real life examples of how individuals have let go of their Caretaker behaviors with creative and effective solutions.

Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship

Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship
  • Author : Margalis Fjelstad
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2019-10-16
  • Total pages :254
  • ISBN : 9781538136652
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Summary : Recovering from any broken relationship is difficult, but when one partner is a narcissist, extracting yourself from the union and healing from the emotional damage can be overwhelming. Using stories from her practice, Margalis Fjelstad helps "caretakers" heal from their broken relationships and navigate the rocky waters post-break up.

Splitting

Splitting
  • Author : Randi Kreger,Bill Eddy
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2011-07-01
  • Total pages :304
  • ISBN : 9781608824724
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Summary : Protect Yourself from Manipulation, False Accusations, and Abuse Divorce is difficult under the best of circumstances. When your spouse has borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or is manipulative, divorcing can be especially complicated. While people with these tendencies may initially appear convincing and even charming to lawyers and judges, you know better—many of these “persuasive blamers” leverage false accusations, attempt to manipulate others, launch verbal and physical attacks, and do everything they can to get their way. Splitting is your legal and psychological guide to safely navigating a high-conflict divorce from an unpredictable spouse. Written by Bill Eddy, a family lawyer, therapist, and divorce mediator, and Randi Kreger, coauthor of the BPD classic Stop Walking on Eggshells, this book includes all of the critical information you need to work through the process of divorce in an emotionally balanced, productive way. Turn to this guide to help you: Predict what your spouse may do or say in court Take control of your case with assertiveness and strategic thinking Choose a lawyer who understands your case Learn how e-mails and social networking can be used against you

Surviving a Borderline Parent

Surviving a Borderline Parent
  • Author : Kimberlee Roth
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2009-12
  • Total pages :356
  • ISBN : 1458747468
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Summary : Those raised by a BPD parent endured a volatile and painful childhood. This book offers readers step-by-step guidance to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of being raised by a person with this disorder. Readers discover coping strategies for dealing with low self-esteem, lack of trust, guilt, and hypersensitivity.

Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder
  • Author : Shari Y. Manning
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2011-08-18
  • Total pages :253
  • ISBN : 9781606234860
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Summary : People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be intensely caring, warm, smart, and funny—but their behavior often drives away those closest to them. If you're struggling in a tumultuous relationship with someone with BPD, this is the book for you. Dr. Shari Manning helps you understand why your spouse, family member, or friend has such out-of-control emotions—and how to change the way you can respond. Learn to use simple yet powerful strategies that can defuse crises, establish better boundaries, and radically transform your relationship. Empathic, hopeful, and science based, this is the first book for family and friends grounded in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), the most effective treatment for BPD.

Understanding the Borderline Mother

Understanding the Borderline Mother
  • Author : Christine Ann Lawson
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2002
  • Total pages :330
  • ISBN : 0765703319
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Summary : The first love in our lives is our mother. Recognizing her face, her voice, the meaning of her moods, and her facial expressions is crucial to survival. Dr. Christine Ann Lawson vividly describes how mothers who suffer from borderline personality disorder produce children who may flounder in life even as adults, futilely struggling to reach the safety of a parental harbor, unable to recognize that their borderline parent lacks a pier, or even a discernible shore. Four character profiles describe different symptom clusters that include the waif mother, the hermit mother, the queen mother, and the witch. Children of borderlines are at risk for developing this complex and devastating personality disorder themselves. Dr. Lawson's recommendations for prevention include empathic understanding of the borderline mother and early intervention with her children to ground them in reality and counteract the often dangerous effects of living with a "make-believe" mother. Some readers may recognize their mothers as well as themselves in this book. They will also find specific suggestions for creating healthier relationships. Addressing the adult children of borderlines and the therapists who work with them, Dr. Lawson shows how to care for the waif without rescuing her, to attend to the hermit without feeding her fear, to love the queen without becoming her subject, and to live with the witch without becoming her victim. A Jason Aronson Book

Stop Walking on Eggshells

Stop Walking on Eggshells
  • Author : Paul T. Mason (M.S.),Randi Kreger
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :1998
  • Total pages :258
  • ISBN : 157224108X
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Summary : Guide for family and friends of those with borderline personality disorder. Designed to help them understand how the disorder affects their loved ones and recognize what they can do to establish personal limits and enforce boundaries, communicate more effectively, and take care of themselves.

Raising Resilient Children with a Borderline or Narcissistic Parent

Raising Resilient Children with a Borderline or Narcissistic Parent
  • Author : Margalis Fjelstad,Jean McBride
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2020-11-20
  • Total pages :234
  • ISBN : 1538127644
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Summary : Being partnered with a narcissist or borderline personality can be hard enough, but learning how to shield children from the fallout is paramount. Here, the authors show readers how to manage parenting when a narcissistic or borderline partner is part of the equation. Life in a narcissistic family system is at best challenging, and too often filled with chaos, isolation, emotional outbursts, and rigid controlling behaviors. It is too often devoid of peace and emotional safety. In the worst outcomes, children in these families grow up with low self-worth, issues with trust and belonging, and a lack of self-compassion. They are at significant risk of carrying the cycle forward and having poor adult relationships. This book offers a way to intervene and disrupt the cycle of negative outcomes for children. Written by two family therapists who bring a combined total of sixty years of clinical practice with individuals and families, the book pulls no punches, giving clear-headed advice, easy to follow actions to help children, and an abundance of teaching examples. Instead of the doom and gloom scenarios often presented about life with a narcissist or borderline, this book provides a much more positive outlook, and most importantly, it offers hope and a path to an entirely different outcome for the family members. Supported by current research in neuroscience, mindfulness and parenting information, the book focuses on teaching resilience and self-compassion to raise emotionally healthy children, even in a narcissistic family system. It starts by helping parents get a clear understanding of what they face with a narcissistic or borderline partner. There is no room here for denial, but there are also many options to explore. It explains how and why the narcissistic family system functions so poorly for raising healthy children, and pinpoints the deficits while providing information on how to intervene more effectively for the benefit of the children. Using their years of experience, the authors present ideas for staying together as well as knowing when to leave the relationship and how best to do that. Emphasis throughout the book is on supporting and strengthening the reader with encouragement, concrete ideas, skills and compassionate understanding.

The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple

The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple
  • Author : Joan Lachkar
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2004-06-01
  • Total pages :256
  • ISBN : 1135952167
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Summary : In this second edition of her groundbreaking book, Dr. Joan Lachkar addresses the ever-changing faces and phases of narcissism within the context of marital therapy and discusses the new developments in the treatment of marital conflict. Drawing from many different theoretical frameworks, mainly self-psychology (Kohut) and object relations (Klein), the works of D.W, Winnicott, and Kernberg are expanded to further explain why couples stay in painful, conflictual, never-ending relationships (traumatic bonding). The new chapters, case illustrations, and updated treatment sequences are invaluable to both beginning and experienced clinicians. The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple is an essential text for every marital therapist, offering an improved understanding of marital pathology within the framework of our changing world.

Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder

Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder
  • Author : Valerie Porr, M.A.
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2010-07-30
  • Total pages :424
  • ISBN : 9780199752508
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Summary : Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is characterized by unstable moods, negative self-image, dangerous impulsivity, and tumultuous relationships. Many people with BPD excel in academics and careers while revealing erratic, self-destructive, and sometimes violent behavior only to those with whom they are intimate. Others have trouble simply holding down a job or staying in school. Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder is a compassionate and informative guide to understanding this profoundly unsettling--and widely misunderstood--mental illness, believed to affect approximately 6% of the general population. Rather than viewing people with BPD as manipulative opponents in a bitter struggle, or pitying them as emotional invalids, Valerie Porr cites cutting-edge science to show that BPD is a true neurobiological disorder and not, as many come to believe, a character flaw or the result of bad parenting. Porr then clearly and accessibly explains what BPD is, which therapies have proven effective, and how to rise above the weighty stigma associated with the disorder. Offering families and loved ones supportive guidance that both acknowledges the difficulties they face and shows how they can be overcome, Porr teaches empirically-supported and effective coping behaviors and interpersonal skills, such as new ways of talking about emotions, how to be aware of nonverbal communication, and validating difficult experiences. These skills are derived from Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Mentalization-based Therapy, two evidence-based treatments that have proven highly successful in reducing family conflict while increasing trust. Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder is an empowering and hopeful resource for those who wish to gain better understanding of the BPD experience--and to make use of these insights in day-to-day family interactions. Winner of the ABCT Self Help Book Seal of Merit Award 2011

The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder

The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder
  • Author : Randi Kreger
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2009-06-03
  • Total pages :304
  • ISBN : 1592857833
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Summary : Gentle counsel and realistic advice for families contending with one of today's most misunderstood forms of mental illness. "Randi Kreger has done it again! With her new book, she continues to make the dynamics of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) readily accessible to those of us who love, live with and treat people who suffer from this complex condition." Blaise Aguirre, MD, Medical Director, Adolescent Dialectical Behavior Therapy Residential Program, McLean Hospital"Kreger's communication techniques, grounded in the latest research, provide family members with the essential ability to regain a genuine, meaningful relationship with their loved one with Borderline Personality Disorder." Debra Resnick, Psy.D., President, Psychological Services and Human Development Center"This book offers hope for those who think their situation has none." Rachel Reiland, author of Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality DisorderFor family members of people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), home life is routinely unpredictable and frequently unbearable. Extreme mood swings, impulsive behaviors, unfair blaming and criticism, and suicidal tendencies common conduct among those who suffer from the disorder leave family members feeling confused, hurt, and helpless.In Stop Walking on Eggshells, Randi Kreger's pioneering first book which sold more than 340,000 copies, she and co-author Paul T. Mason outlined the fundamental differences in the way that people with BPD relate to the world. Now, with The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder, Kreger takes readers to the next level by offering them five straightforward tools to organize their thinking, learn specific skills, and focus on what they need to do to get off the emotional rollercoaster:Take care of yourselfUncover what keeps you feeling stuckCommunicate to be heardSet limits with loveReinforce the right behaviorsTogether the steps provide a clear-cut system designed to help friends and family reduce stress, improve their relationship with their borderline loved one, improve their problem-solving skills and minimize conflict, and feel more self-assured about setting limits.Randi Kreger is the co-author of Stop Walking on Eggshells and the author of The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook. She operates bpdcentral.com, one of the top web-based resources for those living with BPD, and runs the Welcome to Oz online family support groups based at her web site. Cofounder of the Personality Disorder Awareness Network, Kreger is frequently invited to lecture on BPD and related issues, both for clinicians and laypeople.

Disarming the Narcissist

Disarming the Narcissist
  • Author : Wendy T. Behary
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2013-07-01
  • Total pages :224
  • ISBN : 1608827623
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Summary : Do you know someone who is overly arrogant, shows an extreme lack of empathy, or exhibits an inflated sense of entitlement? Do they exploit others, or engage in magical thinking? These are all traits of narcissistic personality disorder, and when it comes to dealing with narcissists, it can be difficult to get your point across. So how do you handle the narcissistic people in your life? You might interact with them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one—so ignoring them isn’t really a practical solution. They're frustrating, and maybe even intimidating, but ultimately, you need to find a way of communicating effectively with them. Disarming the Narcissist, Second Edition, will show you how to move past the narcissist's defenses using compassionate, empathetic communication. You'll learn how narcissists view the world, how to navigate their coping styles, and why, oftentimes, it's sad and lonely being a narcissist. By learning to anticipate and avoid certain hot-button issues, you'll be able to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, you'll also find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist. This book will help you learn to meet your own needs while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe. This new edition also includes new chapters on dealing with narcissistic women, aggressive and abusive narcissists, strategies for safety, and the link between narcissism and sex addiction. Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior.

The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide

The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide
  • Author : Alexander Chapman,Kim Gratz
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2007-12-01
  • Total pages :256
  • ISBN : 1572247843
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Summary : If you or someone you love is struggling with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you need up-to-date, accurate, and accessible information on the problems you’re facing and where you can turn for help. But where do you look? Much of the professional literature on BPD is too technical and confusing to be of much help. And searching the Internet for accurate information can be treacherous, with some sites providing useful information and others giving dangerous advice and misinformation. If you’re living with BPD, this compassionate book offers what you really need: an easy-to-follow road map to guide you through this disorder and its treatment. This book provides answers to many of the questions you might have about BPD: What is BPD? How long does it last? What other problems co-occur with BPD? Overviews of what we currently know about BPD make up the first section of the book. Later chapters cover several common treatment approaches to BPD: DBT, mentalization-based treatment (MBT), and medication treatments. In the last sections of the book, you’ll learn a range of useful coping skills that can help you manage your emotions, deal with suicidal thoughts, and cope with some of the most distressing symptoms of BPD. This book has been awarded The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit — an award bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.

Stop Walking on Eggshells

Stop Walking on Eggshells
  • Author : Paul T. Mason (M.S.),Randi Kreger
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2010
  • Total pages :260
  • ISBN : 1572246901
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Summary : Discusses the signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder and explains how the families and friends of patients can cope with BPD behavior while taking care of themselves.