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Stop Caretaking the Borderline Or Narcissist

Stop Caretaking the Borderline Or Narcissist
  • Author : Margalis Fjelstad
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2013
  • Total pages :219
  • ISBN : 9781442220188
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Summary : People with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorders are master manipulators; Caretakers fall for them every time. This book helps Caretakers break the cycle and puts them on a new path of personal freedom, discovery, and self-awareness, through the use of real stories and practical suggestions from a seasoned therapist.

Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist

Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist
  • Author : Margalis Fjelstad
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2013-02-07
  • Total pages :190
  • ISBN : 9781442220195
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Summary : People with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorders have a serious mental illness that primarily affects their intimate, personal, and family relationships. Often they appear to be normally functioning at work and in public interactions, and Narcissists may even be highly effective, in the short term, in some work or social situations. However, in intimate relationships, they can be emotional, aggressive, demeaning, illogical, paranoid, accusing, and controlling—in the extreme. Their ability to function normally or pleasantly can suddenly change in an instant, like flipping a switch. These negative behaviors don’t happen once in a while, they happen almost continuously in their intimate relationships and most often, and especially with their Caretaker family member. Here, Margalis Fjelstad describes how people get into a Caretaker role with a Borderline or Narcissist, and how they can get out. Caretakers give up their sense of self to become who and what the Borderline or Narcissist needs them to be. This compromises the Caretaker’s self-esteem, distorts their thinking processes, and locks them into a Victim-Persecutor-Rescuer pattern with the Borderline or Narcissist. The book looks at the underlying rules and expectations in these relationships and shows Caretaker’s how to move themselves out of these rigid interactions and into a healthier, more productive, and positive lifestyle—with or without the Borderline/Narcissistic partner or family member. It describes how to get out of destructive interactions with the Borderline or Narcissist and how to take new, more effective actions to focus on personal wants, needs, and life goals while allowing the Borderline or Narcissist to take care of themselves. It presents a realistic, yet compassionate, attitude toward the self-destructive nature of these relationships, and gives real life examples of how individuals have let go of their Caretaker behaviors with creative and effective solutions.

Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship

Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship
  • Author : Margalis Fjelstad
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2019-10-16
  • Total pages :254
  • ISBN : 1538136651
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Summary : Recovering from any broken relationship is difficult, but when one partner is a narcissist, extracting yourself from the union and healing from the emotional damage can be overwhelming. Using stories from her practice, Margalis Fjelstad helps "caretakers" heal from their broken relationships and navigate the rocky waters post-break up.

Splitting

Splitting
  • Author : Randi Kreger,Bill Eddy
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2011-07-01
  • Total pages :304
  • ISBN : 1608824721
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Summary : Protect Yourself from Manipulation, False Accusations, and Abuse Divorce is difficult under the best of circumstances. When your spouse has borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or is manipulative, divorcing can be especially complicated. While people with these tendencies may initially appear convincing and even charming to lawyers and judges, you know better—many of these “persuasive blamers” leverage false accusations, attempt to manipulate others, launch verbal and physical attacks, and do everything they can to get their way. Splitting is your legal and psychological guide to safely navigating a high-conflict divorce from an unpredictable spouse. Written by Bill Eddy, a family lawyer, therapist, and divorce mediator, and Randi Kreger, coauthor of the BPD classic Stop Walking on Eggshells, this book includes all of the critical information you need to work through the process of divorce in an emotionally balanced, productive way. Turn to this guide to help you: Predict what your spouse may do or say in court Take control of your case with assertiveness and strategic thinking Choose a lawyer who understands your case Learn how e-mails and social networking can be used against you

Raising Resilient Children with a Borderline or Narcissistic Parent

Raising Resilient Children with a Borderline or Narcissistic Parent
  • Author : Margalis Fjelstad,Jean McBride
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2020-11-03
  • Total pages :234
  • ISBN : 9781538127643
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Summary : Being partnered with a narcissist or borderline personality can be hard enough, but learning how to shield children from the fallout is paramount. Here, the authors show readers how to manage parenting when a narcissistic or borderline partner is part of the equation. Life in a narcissistic family system is at best challenging, and too often filled with chaos, isolation, emotional outbursts, and rigid controlling behaviors. It is too often devoid of peace and emotional safety. In the worst outcomes, children in these families grow up with low self-worth, issues with trust and belonging, and a lack of self-compassion. They are at significant risk of carrying the cycle forward and having poor adult relationships. This book offers a way to intervene and disrupt the cycle of negative outcomes for children. Written by two family therapists who bring a combined total of sixty years of clinical practice with individuals and families, the book pulls no punches, giving clear-headed advice, easy to follow actions to help children, and an abundance of teaching examples. Instead of the doom and gloom scenarios often presented about life with a narcissist or borderline, this book provides a much more positive outlook, and most importantly, it offers hope and a path to an entirely different outcome for the family members. Supported by current research in neuroscience, mindfulness and parenting information, the book focuses on teaching resilience and self-compassion to raise emotionally healthy children, even in a narcissistic family system. It starts by helping parents get a clear understanding of what they face with a narcissistic or borderline partner. There is no room here for denial, but there are also many options to explore. It explains how and why the narcissistic family system functions so poorly for raising healthy children, and pinpoints the deficits while providing information on how to intervene more effectively for the benefit of the children. Using their years of experience, the authors present ideas for staying together as well as knowing when to leave the relationship and how best to do that. Emphasis throughout the book is on supporting and strengthening the reader with encouragement, concrete ideas, skills and compassionate understanding.

Surviving a Borderline Parent

Surviving a Borderline Parent
  • Author : Kimberlee Roth
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2009-12
  • Total pages :356
  • ISBN : 9781458747464
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Summary : Those raised by a BPD parent endured a volatile and painful childhood. This book offers readers step-by-step guidance to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of being raised by a person with this disorder. Readers discover coping strategies for dealing with low self-esteem, lack of trust, guilt, and hypersensitivity.

The Narcissist in Your Life

The Narcissist in Your Life
  • Author : Julie L. Hall
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2019-12-03
  • Total pages :320
  • ISBN : 9780738285788
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Summary : A highly illuminating examination of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and its insidiously traumatic impact on family members and partners. Packed with insight, compassion, and practical strategies for recovery, this is a must-read for survivors and clinicians alike. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) has a profoundly dehumanizing effect on those subject to its distortions, manipulations, and rage. The Narcissist in Your Life illuminates the emotionally annihilating experience of narcissistic abuse in families and relationships, acknowledges the complex emotional and physical trauma that results, and assists survivors with compassionate, practical advice on the path of recovery. Whether you are just learning about NPD, managing a narcissistic parent or other family member, leaving a narcissistic relationship, or struggling with complex PTSD, you will find life-changing answers to these common questions: What are the different forms of NPD? Is my partner a narcissist? Why do I keep attracting narcissistic personalities? How can I help my kids? What happens in a narcissistic family? Why did my other parent go along with the abuse? Why am I alienated from my siblings? Why is it so hard to believe in myself and my future? What is complex PTSD and do I have it? What are the health problems associated with narcissistic abuse? Journalist, survivor, and NPD trauma coach Julie L. Hall provides a comprehensive, up-to-date, affirming, and accessible guide that will not only help you understand narcissistic abuse trauma, but will help you overcome trauma cycles and move forward with healing.

Understanding the Borderline Mother

Understanding the Borderline Mother
  • Author : Christine Ann Lawson
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2002
  • Total pages :330
  • ISBN : 9780765703316
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Summary : The first love in our lives is our mother. Recognizing her face, her voice, the meaning of her moods, and her facial expressions is crucial to survival. Dr. Christine Ann Lawson vividly describes how mothers who suffer from borderline personality disorder produce children who may flounder in life even as adults, futilely struggling to reach the safety of a parental harbor, unable to recognize that their borderline parent lacks a pier, or even a discernible shore. Four character profiles describe different symptom clusters that include the waif mother, the hermit mother, the queen mother, and the witch. Children of borderlines are at risk for developing this complex and devastating personality disorder themselves. Dr. Lawson's recommendations for prevention include empathic understanding of the borderline mother and early intervention with her children to ground them in reality and counteract the often dangerous effects of living with a "make-believe" mother. Some readers may recognize their mothers as well as themselves in this book. They will also find specific suggestions for creating healthier relationships. Addressing the adult children of borderlines and the therapists who work with them, Dr. Lawson shows how to care for the waif without rescuing her, to attend to the hermit without feeding her fear, to love the queen without becoming her subject, and to live with the witch without becoming her victim. A Jason Aronson Book

Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder
  • Author : Shari Y. Manning
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2011-08-18
  • Total pages :253
  • ISBN : 1606234862
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Summary : People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be intensely caring, warm, smart, and funny—but their behavior often drives away those closest to them. If you're struggling in a tumultuous relationship with someone with BPD, this is the book for you. Dr. Shari Manning helps you understand why your spouse, family member, or friend has such out-of-control emotions—and how to change the way you can respond. Learn to use simple yet powerful strategies that can defuse crises, establish better boundaries, and radically transform your relationship. Empathic, hopeful, and science based, this is the first book for family and friends grounded in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), the most effective treatment for BPD.

The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple

The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple
  • Author : Joan Lachkar
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2004-06-01
  • Total pages :256
  • ISBN : 9781135952167
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Summary : In this second edition of her groundbreaking book, Dr. Joan Lachkar addresses the ever-changing faces and phases of narcissism within the context of marital therapy and discusses the new developments in the treatment of marital conflict. Drawing from many different theoretical frameworks, mainly self-psychology (Kohut) and object relations (Klein), the works of D.W, Winnicott, and Kernberg are expanded to further explain why couples stay in painful, conflictual, never-ending relationships (traumatic bonding). The new chapters, case illustrations, and updated treatment sequences are invaluable to both beginning and experienced clinicians. The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple is an essential text for every marital therapist, offering an improved understanding of marital pathology within the framework of our changing world.

Why Is It Always About You?

Why Is It Always About You?
  • Author : Sandy Hotchkiss
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2008-06-20
  • Total pages :240
  • ISBN : 9781439106532
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Summary : In this groundbreaking book -- the first popular book on narcissism in more than a decade -- clinical social worker and psychotherapist Sandy Hotchkiss shows you how to cope with controlling, egotistical people who are incapable of the fundamental give-and-take that sustains healthy relationships. Exploring how individuals come to have this shortcoming, why you get drawn into their perilous orbit, and what you can do to break free, Hotchkiss describes the "Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism" and their origins. You will learn to recognize these hallmarks of unhealthy narcissism -- Shamelessness, Magical Thinking, Arrogance, Envy, Entitlement, Exploitation, Bad Boundaries -- and to understand the roles that parenting and culture play in their creation. Whether the narcissist in question is a coworker, spouse, parent, or child, Why Is It Always About You? provides abundant practical advice for anyone struggling to break narcissism's insidious spread to the next generation, and for anyone who encounters narcissists in everyday life.

The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder

The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder
  • Author : Randi Kreger
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2009-06-03
  • Total pages :304
  • ISBN : 9781592857838
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Summary : Gentle counsel and realistic advice for families contending with one of today's most misunderstood forms of mental illness. "Randi Kreger has done it again! With her new book, she continues to make the dynamics of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) readily accessible to those of us who love, live with and treat people who suffer from this complex condition." Blaise Aguirre, MD, Medical Director, Adolescent Dialectical Behavior Therapy Residential Program, McLean Hospital"Kreger's communication techniques, grounded in the latest research, provide family members with the essential ability to regain a genuine, meaningful relationship with their loved one with Borderline Personality Disorder." Debra Resnick, Psy.D., President, Psychological Services and Human Development Center"This book offers hope for those who think their situation has none." Rachel Reiland, author of Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality DisorderFor family members of people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), home life is routinely unpredictable and frequently unbearable. Extreme mood swings, impulsive behaviors, unfair blaming and criticism, and suicidal tendencies common conduct among those who suffer from the disorder leave family members feeling confused, hurt, and helpless.In Stop Walking on Eggshells, Randi Kreger's pioneering first book which sold more than 340,000 copies, she and co-author Paul T. Mason outlined the fundamental differences in the way that people with BPD relate to the world. Now, with The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder, Kreger takes readers to the next level by offering them five straightforward tools to organize their thinking, learn specific skills, and focus on what they need to do to get off the emotional rollercoaster:Take care of yourselfUncover what keeps you feeling stuckCommunicate to be heardSet limits with loveReinforce the right behaviorsTogether the steps provide a clear-cut system designed to help friends and family reduce stress, improve their relationship with their borderline loved one, improve their problem-solving skills and minimize conflict, and feel more self-assured about setting limits.Randi Kreger is the co-author of Stop Walking on Eggshells and the author of The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook. She operates bpdcentral.com, one of the top web-based resources for those living with BPD, and runs the Welcome to Oz online family support groups based at her web site. Cofounder of the Personality Disorder Awareness Network, Kreger is frequently invited to lecture on BPD and related issues, both for clinicians and laypeople.

Disarming the Narcissist

Disarming the Narcissist
  • Author : Wendy T. Behary
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2013-07-01
  • Total pages :224
  • ISBN : 9781608827626
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Summary : Do you know someone who is overly arrogant, shows an extreme lack of empathy, or exhibits an inflated sense of entitlement? Do they exploit others, or engage in magical thinking? These are all traits of narcissistic personality disorder, and when it comes to dealing with narcissists, it can be difficult to get your point across. So how do you handle the narcissistic people in your life? You might interact with them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one—so ignoring them isn’t really a practical solution. They're frustrating, and maybe even intimidating, but ultimately, you need to find a way of communicating effectively with them. Disarming the Narcissist, Second Edition, will show you how to move past the narcissist's defenses using compassionate, empathetic communication. You'll learn how narcissists view the world, how to navigate their coping styles, and why, oftentimes, it's sad and lonely being a narcissist. By learning to anticipate and avoid certain hot-button issues, you'll be able to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, you'll also find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist. This book will help you learn to meet your own needs while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe. This new edition also includes new chapters on dealing with narcissistic women, aggressive and abusive narcissists, strategies for safety, and the link between narcissism and sex addiction. Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior.

Girl in Need of a Tourniquet

Girl in Need of a Tourniquet
  • Author : Merri Lisa Johnson
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2010-06-08
  • Total pages :256
  • ISBN : 9781580053501
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Summary : An honest and compelling memoir, Girl in Need of a Tourniquet is Merri Lisa Johnson’s account of her borderline personality disorder and how it has affected her life and relationships. Johnson describes the feeling of "bleeding out" — unable to tell where she stopped and where her partner began. A self-confessed "psycho girlfriend," she was influenced by many emotional factors from her past. She recalls her path through a dysfunctional, destructive relationship, while recounting the experiences that brought her to her breaking point. In recognizing her struggle with borderline personality disorder, Johnson is ultimately able to seek help, embarking on a soul-searching healing process. It's a path that is painful, difficult, and at times heart-wrenching, but ultimately makes her more able to love and coexist in healthy relationships.

The Buddha and the Borderline

The Buddha and the Borderline
  • Author : Kiera Van Gelder
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2010-08-01
  • Total pages :280
  • ISBN : 9781572248250
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Summary : Kiera Van Gelder's first suicide attempt at the age of twelve marked the onset of her struggles with drug addiction, depression, post-traumatic stress, self-harm, and chaotic romantic relationships-all of which eventually led to doctors' belated diagnosis of borderline personality disorder twenty years later. The Buddha and the Borderline is a window into this mysterious and debilitating condition, an unblinking portrayal of one woman's fight against the emotional devastation of borderline personality disorder. This haunting, intimate memoir chronicles both the devastating period that led to Kiera's eventual diagnosis and her inspirational recovery through therapy, Buddhist spirituality, and a few online dates gone wrong. Kiera's story sheds light on the private struggle to transform suffering into compassion for herself and others, and is essential reading for all seeking to understand what it truly means to recover and reclaim the desire to live.

Talking to a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder

Talking to a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder
  • Author : Jerold J. Kreisman
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2018-11-01
  • Total pages :176
  • ISBN : 9781684030484
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Summary : In this compassionate guide, Jerold Kreisman—author of I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me—offers a powerful set of tools to help you express yourself, set boundaries, and cultivate healthy communication with a loved one who is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD). If you have a loved one with BPD, you need real, proven-effective strategies to help you navigate the intense emotions and conflict that can arise in daily interactions and conversations. People with BPD often feel anger, pain, and hurt from a history of invalidation and disappointment, and their difficulty in regulating emotions can lead to moments of lashing out that can confuse and upset those around them. Written by a psychiatrist with more than 40 years of experience in treating BPD, Talking to a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder offers a breakthrough, compassionate approach to communicating with a loved one who has BPD. The SET (support, empathy, truth) method outlined in this book is a powerful and simple tool that will allow you to honestly address your loved one’s demands, assertions, and feelings while still maintaining appropriate boundaries. Each step builds on the last, helping you build up a consistent and reliable communication process. In this book, you’ll find a review of BPD and the common communication problems inherent in the disorder. You’ll learn how SET can address these issues. And finally, you’ll find detailed examples of specific scenarios that can arise when talking to a loved one with BPD. Remember—validation isn’t the same as agreement. You can help your loved one feel validated while still maintaining your own boundaries. This essential guide will show you how.

When Your Daughter Has BPD

When Your Daughter Has BPD
  • Author : Daniel S. Lobel
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2017-12-01
  • Total pages :200
  • ISBN : 9781626259584
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Summary : In this groundbreaking book, psychologist Daniel Lobel offers essential skills based in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help you understand your daughter’s disorder, define appropriate boundaries, put an end to daily emergencies, and rebuild the family’s structure from the ground up. If you have a daughter with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you may feel frustration, shame, and your family may be at the breaking point dealing with angry outbursts, threats, and constant emergencies. You may even feel guilty for not enjoying spending time with your child—but how can you when her behavior is abusive toward you and the rest of your family? You need solid skills you can use now to help your daughter and hold your family together. In this important guide, you’ll learn real solutions and strategies based in proven-effective DBT and CBT to help you weather the storm of BPD and restore a sense of normalcy and balance in your life. You’ll find an overview of BPD so you can better understand the driving forces behind your daughter’s difficult behavior. You’ll discover how you can help your daughter get the help she needs while also setting boundaries that foster respect and self-care for you and others in your family. And, most importantly, you’ll learn “emergency parenting techniques” to help you put a stop to abusive patterns and restore peace. If your daughter has BPD and your family is struggling to make it through each day, this book offers essential skills to help you cope and recover a sense of stability.

Stop Walking on Eggshells

Stop Walking on Eggshells
  • Author : Paul T. Mason (M.S.),Randi Kreger
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :1998
  • Total pages :258
  • ISBN : 9781572241084
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Summary : Guide for family and friends of those with borderline personality disorder. Designed to help them understand how the disorder affects their loved ones and recognize what they can do to establish personal limits and enforce boundaries, communicate more effectively, and take care of themselves.

Stop Walking on Eggshells

Stop Walking on Eggshells
  • Author : Paul T. Mason (M.S.),Randi Kreger
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2010
  • Total pages :260
  • ISBN : 9781572246904
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Summary : Discusses the signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder and explains how the families and friends of patients can cope with BPD behavior while taking care of themselves.

The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook

The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook
  • Author : Randi Kreger
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2002-08-09
  • Total pages :224
  • ISBN : 9781608824298
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Summary : The symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD) include severe mood shifts, unfounded accusations and wildly inappropriate displays of anger, a range of self-destructive behaviors, and frantic efforts to avoid abandonment. For the friends and families of people with BPD, The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook supports and reinforces the ideas in its partner book Stop Walking on Eggshells. The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook can be used by itself, or as an accompaniment to the first book. A practical guide to successfully navigating life with someone with BPD, it’s chock full of worksheets, checklists, and exercises to help them apply what they’ve learned to their own relationship. It includes a form to help to fill in when looking for a clinician, a list of phrases to use, and a glossary of BPD-related terms. The book is easy to read and right to the point.

Hard to Love

Hard to Love
  • Author : Joseph Nowinski
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2014-05-13
  • Total pages :192
  • ISBN : 9781937612580
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Summary : Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) in men is often misdiagnosed and typically leads to either no treatment or the wrong treatment. This is the first book to address this under-recognized problem. It contains symptoms and causes, as well as treatment, targeted to men who suffer from BPD. Joseph Nowinski, PhD, is a clinical psychologist in private practice and the author of numerous books. His most recent books include Saying Goodbye: A Guide to Coping with a Loved One's Terminal Illness and Almost Alcoholic: Is My (Or My Loved One's) Drinking a Problem?